Marriage is hard work. I know over the years my husband and I have struggled sometimes more than others. We’ve made most if not all the mistakes newlyweds make. We’ve been flat broke, we’ve been in debt up to our eyes, and didn’t know how we were going to pay the bills. Sometimes couples don’t agree on money, and that’s okay.
Trust me my husband and I have been there. Sometimes couples don’t agree on money, but you can’t allow that to come between the two of you. There are two types of people when it comes it money you’re either a spender or a saver.
My granny used to tell me opposites attract. Which is true, but when a spender and saver decided to get married they could find themselves in some difficult conversations when it comes to money.
How to deal with things when couples don’t agree on money
You’re no longer just taking care your money. You’re no longer just spending your money. When you said I do, it becomes y’all’s money. You both have to understand what each other wants, and you both have to get goals together.
The saver must realize the budget can’t restrict the spender to the point of frustration, and the spender must understand they have to stick to a budget.
Where do you see yourselves in a year? Five years? Ten years? This plan isn’t about one person. It’s where you want to go together. One person can’t control your budget. If so, it’s going to end in disaster.
You have to both be able to live with your budget. Let’s use tobacco for example. If your partner is a smoker and you don’t put that in the budget you’re shooting yourself in the foot. You’re going to bust your budget and it’s going to cause a disagreement.
Choose your battles
Is that pack of smokes really worth your marriage? Marriage is about compromise. Pick your battles wisely. You have to accept that your partner is a spender. Recognize that this is not going away anytime soon. You need to focus on the positive and reframe your outlook if you want to stay together.
Both of you should be very clear where you stand financially. You should both know where you stand financially, where your money is going, what’s in your budget, and how much you saving. There should not be any secrets about how much money you’ve spent, how much is coming in, or anything else. You should both know where every penny is going.
Have an allowance
Each of you get a certain amount each pay period. This is your “free” money. You can do with it whatever you like, but when it’s gone it’s gone. This way you both feel like you have a little freedom without busting your budget.
Don’t point fingers
Don’t point fingers. If something happens with the budget figure a way out to fix it, but don’t make your husband go on the offense. In the end what you want is a solution but a haha you did it moment.
Remember this isn’t your child. This is a relationship and you can’t always be in control. The saver may be better at doing the number and making the budget up, but both of you need to make the decisions together.
Marriage is hard work and let’s face it, it’s not always pretty. We like to think only about the sunshine and rainbows but that’s not realistic. Pull your big girl pants up and face the situation head on.
Problems aren’t caused by lack of money so much as lack of respectful communication about money between a couple.